AniWeds

Well, it passed in the State of New York by the New York Senate....and what is alluded to is not the Defense of Marriage Proposition (which proposition would merely reaffirm the legitimacy of legal heterosexual marriage without specifically disallowing the inclusion of homosexual unions as "marriages" with government benefits allocated for such).

No, what was passed was the so-called Marriage Equality Act, and now New York is the sixth State to have passed such...although the one passed in New York is somewhat different....in that it is much more extensive in scope of both who and what can now be considered "married."

Not only are all of any age group and either gender (except breast-feeding infants up to one year old) allowed to marry each other, but spouses can now be mammals also - if such the owners (excuse me: spouses) of such mammals of either or both genders meet certain standards, such as providing proof of being of sound mind and concurrently not already married.

Also, prospective marital-partner mammals must be alive, or reasonably alive, when the marriage license is issued, and it only takes one partner of the marriage to be able to legibly sign the Marriage License Certificate, although the instances of having a mute spouse being unable to talk must be registered with a notorized waiver.

Another stipulation is that the mammal must be of more-or-less equal height and weight in relation to the other spouse, and at least one of the spouses must be human.

For example, bears and cat-like mammals (e.g. lions, tigers, etc.), horses, gorillas, and kangaroos should be of equal height and weight compared to their human spouse of either gender.

The bill awaits the governor's signature as to whether or not reptiles, birds, and fish can soon become acceptable as marriage partners accruing State benefits and inheritance provisions.

Weddings of marriages between human and poopy/pissy animals in religious buildings should be made in conjunction with consulting the New York City Zoo.

Wedding gowns or tuxedos for mammals can be white, although scarlet is recommended, and should reflect the opposite gender of the mammal for maximum thrill.

Cages in sanctuaries for mammal spouses creating a disturbance are to be provided by the human spouse.

Pictures of kissing by mammal-with-human spouses at the end of the ceremonies should be done by at least one professional photographer, and buckets should be provided for congregants who consequently vomit while observing such.

Being that some mammals do not have fingers on which to put gold wedding bands indicating that they are married, pierced rings can be inserted into the equivalent of the mammal's left earlobe.

Branding of mammal spouses during marriage ceremonies is prohibited by New York statute.

Clergy are not required to have mammal spouses-to-be recite vows during church, synagogue, or mosque ceremonies.

It is strongly recommended that wedding receptions for all mammal/human marriages occur outside the city limits of New York City proper and all other major New York cities, and instead be celebrated on suitable farmland.

It is expected that all non-human mammals joined to a human spouse should be leashed while out in the general public to avoid being impounded, and large dog-type mammal spouses are advised to limit the lifting of their back leg to hydrants exclusively marked for such purposes.

Petition is being made to alter IRS 1040 Forms to accomodate the new categories of marital partner for Marital Status Classification, and mammal spouses are not eligible to be prosecuted for Income Tax Evasion.

In-law relatives of married mammals can attend court to determine custody of any adopted children.

Whichever of the married partners, be they human or animal, can be claimed or claim themself "Daddy" or "Mommy," and free psychiatric counseling and treatment is available by State social workers for confused and disoriented adopted children of mammal/human families of whatever gender(s).

Drivers Licenses can be issued to either spouse in a mammal-with-human marriage at the discretion of the New York State Department of Public Safety and Vehicle Services.

Mammal/human marriage licenses last only two years, but can be renewed if at least one spouse takes and passes the Marriage License Renewal Test, unless either annulment or divorce is instead desired.

In accord with New York State Law, all mammal/human married spouses must have some plaque or other written display of Job 11:12 posted somewhere within their residences.

Seriously, after listening to rather-sensible White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer dialogue with a local loonhead the other night on C-Span 3, I can readily see that the GOP is going to have very serious difficulty putting a Republican into the Oval Office in 2012, and it certainly will be absolutely impossible if the GOP selects Palin and/or Bachmann as the Prez or VP candidate.

The GOP have all they can do to change the voting public's mind that they will not continue to insist mindlessly tinkering with what they miscall "entitlements" which they presume has caused and is causing the National Debt -- thus depriving the impoverished of needed monthly Social Security checks and Medicare/Medicaid reimbursements.